Cha Cha Cha Changin

I hope everyone enjoyed my first every post yesterday...it was a hard one to write but oh so therapeutic for the soul.  I thought tonight I would talk about how I have started to change and grow as a person.  I can only hope that maybe someone who is stuck in a rut like I was will read this and have the strength to start to change.

I have always been a pretty happy and vibrant person.  Someone I hoped people would want to be around. I think, in my line of work, contemporary and luxury retail management, you have to have that type of personality.  You need to always be "on".  You should always be the one out on the floor so the clients constantly see your face.  You are the face of the store.  You are also the trusted opinion and voice of the store or brand.  So when I noticed myself starting to become snippy and agitated and bitter I knew there was something wrong.  It was more than anxiety.  It was that I was starting to feel unhappy with my life...a feeling I was quite unfamiliar with, or shale I say, unfamiliar with allowing to surface.  But there it was, creeping up, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  It all kind of hit me like a freight train of emotions.  I knew I was unhappy with my life but I could not pinpoint why.  I'm not sure I can now.  All I knew was that I had to start working through this immediately because I hated feeling this way.  Feeling like I was trapped in a sea of unhappy waters with no life jacket.

This is when I started cha cha cha changin. It has been just the simplest little things sometimes that make the biggest impacts or changes.  My health and body was a huge one for me.  I wont say that it doesn't give me great satisfaction every time I hop on that scale and see the number go down or I run into someone who hasn't seen me in ages and they say "WOW".  But it is so much more than that.  It was and still is about stepping outside of my pre-conceived box that I had made for myself.  It has been about meeting new people and trying new things.  I have connected with some of the most amazing people in the last several months and they have all taught me so much about me.  I guarantee not one of them was attempting to teach me a thing but that is the great thing about having your eyes wide open...you see so much more.  I have staged houses to be put up for sale and found out that I really love doing that for people (could be coincidence but they both sold immediately after staging..just sayin).  I have been completely spontaneous and hopped in the car to go to the lake last minute with friends...only to find myself playing knee deep in mud.  YES....I WAS KNEE DEEP IN MUD>>>THIS LITTLE JEW!!!  I'm standing outside in the pouring rain watching a friend wash my car and loving being soaked like I was a little kid again.

There is something so liberating about change.  I was always so scared of it and thought I didn't need to change because my life was going in such a great direction.  But when it stops going that way and you have the time to take a look inside...its amazing what you see.  For me, it was that I wanted my happy back.  I am good at happy and even though my life is still turned upside down...I am beginning to find that happiness again..and it is all because I am learning to change.

xo